It breaks my heart but… Louis Walsh will win Celebrity Big Brother
If you could count on one safe bet in this Celebrity Big Brother it's that Louis Walsh would make it all the way to the final. Now that we're just days away, it's inevitable he's going to win.
After a six year break and relaunching on ITV, for better or worse the return of Celebrity Big Brother has been all about The X Factor judge, 71.
Be it his antagonising behaviour towards housemates, constant bitching and rule-breaking with an impressive lack of social awareness or dragging almost every popstar he's ever worked with, it has been all eyes on trouble-maker Louis.
No wonder then Celebrity Big Brother fans suspect ITV has been pulling strings to ensure Louis sealed a spot in the final, and they got their money's worth given his giant pay packet.
Despite receiving a killer nomination from This Morning's Fern Britton on Monday night's episode, Big Brother conveniently flipped her decision into a hall pass to the final.
He would have made it anyway though just look at Celebrity Big Brother's track record of previous winners and Louis ticks every box to make a controversial CBB champion.
Stephen Bear was one of the most unlikeable Celebrity Big Brother housemates ever (to put it lightly) but that didn't stop him winning the 2016 series over the likes of EastEnders' Ricky Norwood, Samantha Fox and X Factor's Katie Waisell.
From the moment Bear woke up he spent every single day making everyone else's stay hell.
It only took him seven days to get a formal and 'final' warning after launching a cup across the garden and trying to rip off the Diary Room door. Clearly it was a total misery to live in the same house as Bear and subsequently it became a misery to watch.
Regardless, Bear came out on top. Why? Well, similarly to Louis Walsh, he had no competition. Who else would have won that series? Ideally anyone but alas his housemates couldn't round up the troops for the same support.
Snog, Marry, Avoid star Chloe Khan? Towie star Lewis Bloor? The ex-husband of Anthea Turner, Grant Bovey?
They weren't exactly the most inspiring competition.
Jim Davidson and Gary Busey also won their respective series of Celebrity Big Brother despite being consistently offensive to their housemates and becoming unwatchable for a huge chunk of the devoted Big Brother fanbase.
Again though, there wasn't another housemate to pick up the phone and vote for to become a winner.
Now that we know Louis will be in the final lap of the race, who else has really proven they've done enough to encourage viewers to download the app and vote for them to win?
When we look back at this series of Celebrity Big Brother, aside from Ekin-su Clclolu's tantrums and Lauren Simon's comical apology for breaking the rules (the only truly iconic moment from this series) it will be remembered for Louis berating his housemates with unnerving calm and unknowingly making Jedward relevant again.
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Strictly Come Dancing's Nikita Kuzman is emerging as a very last-minute contender to pip Louis to the post after putting himself up for nomination, passing the test of 'courage' in a fairytale task.
It was exactly the sort of honourable thing a Celebrity Big Brother winner would do but it was no way near enough to make Nikita go all the way when we've hardly seen anything else from him all series.
David Potts has proven he's much more than a gobby reality TV star who doesn't wear trousers. He's kind, funny and far from the first impression of a fame-hungry wannabe he gave entering the house.
Colson Smith has been nothing but a gent, but his only standout moment came when he was called 'boring' and had a cry about it in the toilet, albeit understandably.
And Bradley Riches is a diamond, everything you'd expect from a Heartstopper actor. A reality TV star though? Not a chance.
At the time of writing This Morning's Fern Britton, presenter ZeZe Millz and theatre star (now Olivier Award nominee) Marisha Wallace are all up for the last eviction of the series.
All three are wild outsiders to win. The Tories have a better chance at winning the next election but out of the three of them if anyone could have a last minute surge of popularity it's Zeze. She's the only one bold enough to really stand up to Louis and for all the CBB fans desperate to see anyone else win, they should direct their votes to her.
Does Louis deserve to win Celebrity Big Brother? No, absolutely not. I don't even think he should be in there.
But when I think of the greatest Celebrity Big Brother winners Bez, Chantelle Houghton, Rylan Clark and Shilpa Shetty, to name a few, there was such a clear reason they walked out of the house to a shower of confetti, crowds cheering and a new wave of fans to meet. They'd been through a journey, overcome appalling behaviour from others and made the nation fall in love with them, often against the odds.
Is there anyone left in Celebrity Big Brother worthy to stand alongside the best CBB champions? Sadly, I don't think anyone comes close. This is Louis Walsh's prize to lose and right now I don't feel very hopeful that he will.
Celebrity Big Brother continues tonight at 9pm on ITV1.
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